Homesickness: A Parent's Guide

Prescription for Camper Homesickness

Campers often say their week at DEC camp is the best of the summer. Camp is a wonderful place to exercise independence and to learn and grow. Nevertheless, some children experience homesickness during their week at camp. DEC camps' policy on homesickness has three parts:

Children who come to camp together are placed in separate cabins. Staff has found that this discourages disruptive behavior at bedtimes and helps child forge friendships with others faster. This small step shows children in their first few minutes of camp that we encourage independence. Discuss this guideline with your child before camp begins. Explain that campers do get to choose activities throughout the day, such as out-of-camp trips, with their friends but are assigned to cabins.
Campers are not permitted to make or receive phone calls while at camp. Some campers may be feeling fine until the sound of a parent's voice triggers a setback. Letters from home that reassure and encourage confidence are always welcome. Also, we ask that parents not visit during the camp week.
Our staffs' approach to helping a homesick camper is:
- Be supportive, encouraging, and empathetic but firm.
- Keep him or her busy.
- Try to identify and solve any underlying problems (being teased) or help him or her learn to adapt to the unsolvable ones (it's raining, the weather's cold).
- Keep you informed. The camp director will call you if your camper is homesick.

If you have any questions or concerns, feel free to talk them over with the camp director on the Sunday of your child's arrival.

The following are some guidelines to help you and your child prepare for the ups-and-downs of a week at camp:

Please don't say, "If you have problems, call and I'll come get you." A camper is thus invited to fail and may abandon efforts to adjust to camp life. Instead, you might say, "This is a commitment for one camp session. If it's hard at times, stick with it. If you don't like it you don't have to go back, but no changing your mind in the middle."
Avoid statements like, "I'm going to be so lonely without you!" Don't make your child feel guilty about going away. Rather, acknowledge in a positive way that you will miss your child. For example, say "I'm going to miss you, but I know you will have a good time at camp."
If for some reason you do wind-up on the phone with a crying, homesick child, be supportive and positive about his or her ability to adjust and be absolutely firm about sticking it out. "Just try it one more day" likely translates to "I'm going home in a day." Again, such statements invite the child to fail. Alternatively, "You must stay," is more likely to translate to, "I don't have a choice so I might as well make the best of it."
Don't feel guilty about encouraging your child to stay at camp. For many children, camp is the first step toward independence and plays an important role in their growth and development.
Do not berate children or make them feel like a failure for being homesick. When your child completes a visit away from home successfully, praise him or her.
Discuss what camp will be like before your child leaves. Consider role-playing anticipated situations, such as using a flashlight to find the bathroom.
Speak openly of possible homesickness. Feeling homesick and missing family, friends and pets is normal. Knowing this, your child may accept homesick feeling with less anxiety.
Pack a personal item from home, such as a stuffed animal or favorite blanket.
Heighten your child's interest by pointing out some of the exciting activities at camp, perhaps by viewing the photographs and reading descriptions on the DEC camp web site. At the same time, be sure your child's expectations are realistic. He or she will be challenged and have to work hard at some activities, such as learning to canoe. Campers also share in camp chores such as sweeping the cabin and picking up litter.
When dropping your child off at camp, take enough time to see the facilities, meet the counselors, then leave. This is not a good time to visit and watch activities. A cheerful, confident attitude on your part will get the week off to a good start.

Adapted from the American Camping Association web site.